these days, inspiration just drains away like sand through the gaps between your fingers. slowly, but surely. how rare it is to experience a saturday that feels slow-paced and tranquil enough for me to sit in complete solitude and scan through my older entries back in trippinteetotaller. feels like i'm looking directly into the life of an entirely different person.
i sound different. i wonder what it is ? did i lose the sass and spunk and took the time to grow up, or am i just this sedate old bag speaking about my academic turmoil as a prisoner of tertiary torture with this monotonous droning to match the circumstances. these days i just seem fatigued and somewhat jaded, and its really quite impossible to elucidate the unexplainable. more than half a year has passed, yet i still feel very strongly about my mistake in picking a course in which i do not belong. i am no business tycoon in the making. investment banking ? snore. i am a person of the arts. perhaps this is a sign, flashing red lights burning up my mind, telling me its time to move on and grow up.
everyday i'm a different person. its really quite tiresome to have to switch around among a plethora of personas and be subjected to involuntary schizophrenia. its become such an art to mask drama by skillfully manipulating the use of comedy. crack 10 jokes a day to make up for the pain you feel because of one tiny thing thats gone wrong. plaster down that one strand of hair sticking out from your perfectly combed head with globs of gel to make it stay.
there are the ones who speak of politics, of current issues, of various opinions they have regarding external events unrelated to themselves. but i will always be the cheerer, as concluded by an uncomplicated personality test i was forced to take during my creative thinking class. the cheerer whose life revolves around a rapid current of emotions, optimism (ironically) and reflection, to name a few. and who therefore writes what she thinks and feels in a somewhat self-absorbed fashion. i'm afraid i might like being in my own bubble so much that i may not survive should it decide to burst one day.
anyway. look what i found at trippinteetotaller : (was talking about WoW)
'anyways, its tons of fun but i still dont see how someone cld be glued to the monitor all day long just playing wow. how pple survive on wow and minimal food & water just boggles the mind. or maybe i'll find out soon :D'
such balderdash :P wow probably completely displaced the real world in which i'm forced to go through real life for an extensively overwhelming period of 5-6 months. the addiction's almost died off completely, thank god. although i sense the purchase of a new game card coming sooner or later. sooner rather than later :)