my eyes are so goddamn dry, theyre just about to pop outta their sockets.
the past coupla days have been completely topsy turvy. i abhor how when major things occur, then immediately after, people conveniently act like nothing's even happened. i mean, where's the damage control ? i'm not looking for trouble for the sake of retaining my role as the spawn of satan. i just find it absurd that no one's even batting an eye at the mass destruction thats sticking out like a fuckin sore thumb. like hello !
okay maybe its a little late to have a bitchfit over something so terribly inconsequential. let's just throw that under the 'shit happens' category and forget about it for the next 6 hours.
apart from the fact that this is the time of year when money comes rolling in, everything else about cny just blows. visiting relatives you really dont give two shits about, eating disgusting tidbits for the sake of self-entertainment and quelling gastronomic boredom, travelling all over singapore to visit said relatives who hardly know you, hence the $2 angpaos. yes i'm being a horrendous whiner, i swear i dont know whats gotten into me. but seriously, sometimes i wonder 'what is the point ?'
what exactly is the point of anything at all. ever since the rather unpleasant incidents of late, ive come to a rather outrageous conclusion. outrageous to me because i think i'm being awfully gracious and terribly kind to someone who is so completely undeserving. this is extremely out of character, but for the sake of closure, i'm gonna let everything slide. being the control freak that i am, i will not come straight out and admit that things are sliding way outta my control. but to be brutally honest, if everything gets dragged beyond the stipulated time, i'm just gonna throw my hands up and walk away from it all.
all things psychological is just messing with my head right now. lying is such a drug, once you pop you cant stop. here's a toast to my favourite junkie who's subtley moved on from one bad habit to another. give me novocaine.